we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
