He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
