after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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