I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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