Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
