My boss' voice literally gives me gas
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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