he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
