so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
