if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
