do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I need help removing her.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
