I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize