She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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