why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
