You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
