I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
