she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
