Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
why didn't you poke me back
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
