I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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