Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
