At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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