if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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