dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The air taste purple.
Randomize