Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
