guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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