i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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