Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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