She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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