but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
