I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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