but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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