His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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