You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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