Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
nutella sex= disaster
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
