So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
