That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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