dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
