Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
