worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize