he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
