And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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