I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
