Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
