Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
