So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
