Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
