It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
organizing the empties. That sober.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Are we still banned from the library?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
