they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
