Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
