Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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