I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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