You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
