he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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