I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
