At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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