You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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