On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
