if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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