Kiss
Puke
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
