god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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