so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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