Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
