I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
