Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
